


I Am You

by Neila_Nuruodo



Series: Burn the Page for Me [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Possession, The possession is not, the sex is consensual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-18 07:27:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21890461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neila_Nuruodo/pseuds/Neila_Nuruodo
Summary: After a week in Thancred's body, Lahabrea has a problem that needs solved.  Thancred is not crazy about having anything to do with this invader, but they both suffer from his need.
Relationships: Lahabrea/Thancred Waters
Series: Burn the Page for Me [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1630303
Comments: 17
Kudos: 67





	I Am You

**Author's Note:**

> No archive warnings given just to be on the safe side, though this isn't non-con or dub-con. The sex here is consensual, but the possession is not!

**Lahabrea**

The struggle began as soon as we reached the solar.

One would have thought that after a week of pointless fighting, he would have given up. Not fallen into passivity, of course; such a thing generally took much longer. But the constant pointless flailing did begin to wear. It was nothing I hadn’t dealt with thousands of times before; I simply kept it suppressed, held down. But it was unusual that it continued still.

I gave Minfilia a bright, rakish smile; she returned it. Thancred’s struggles redoubled, as they always did when I greeted her. Again the temptation to comb through his memories, to discover exactly why he felt so strongly protective of her, rose. It would be a simple thing… but, irrelevant as it currently was to my mission, my goals, I refrained. Instead I gave a nod to Y’shtola and took up a spot leaning against the wall, continuing to ride out the inner turbulence Thancred stirred up.

  
  


**Thancred**

My heart plummeted as we approached the door to the solar. I knew what I would find inside. All my friends, smiling, laughing, joking. Making plans to save the world, to help bring in the next astral era. All unaware that I had been compromised, that an Ascian walked in my skin, learning our every move. Subverting our plans.

Though I knew it would be futile, I threw myself at the _thing_ caging my soul. I _had_ to try. I owed it to Minfilia, to Yda and Papalymo, to Y’shtola, to the adventurer who had so selflessly joined our cause with little promise of reward. Furious, determined, I struck out again and again, trying everything I knew, everything I could figure out in this strange inner space. Nothing seemed to work, but I _would not_ give in. I couldn’t. Too much depended upon it.

The monster smiled at Minfilia _—my_ smile, _my_ characteristic friendliness. Fury blinded me, and I ripped and tore at him, trying to break through. If anything could give me the strength to defeat him, it was my devotion to Minfilia. I let it rage through me, unleashing my horror and wrath.

 _You must stop,_ he finally told me. _You are going to do yourself harm. If you do not, I will put you to sleep again._

I faltered for a moment in my attack. I knew he would do it. He had done it every day so far. But how could I justify doing less than my utmost for my friends? My determination renewed, I returned once more to my efforts to break free. Power wound around me, and I cringed away from it, but there was no escape. It swelled into a heavy blanket, pressing me down, swamping me. I felt consciousness dim and froze, panicking.

_Wait!_

  
  


**Lahabrea**

Finally I reached my limit, both frustrated at the inanity of his struggles and concerned about his state. _You must stop,_ I instructed him sternly. _You are going to do yourself harm. If you do not, I will put you to sleep again._ Indeed, it was what I had been forced to do every day thus far. The soul would flail, rail, rage, until my concern outweighed my consideration and I gave in, forcing the poor creature into a sleep. At least then I was free to focus on my tasks for the rest of the day. Then the next morning when we woke up, it would begin again.

Never before had my firm admonishment had any effect on Thancred’s behavior, but today it seemed there might be a breakthrough. The soul paused in its struggles, just for a moment, before they resumed. I kept a smile in place, fighting the urge to sigh. I blanketed it in power, wrapping it securely and drawing it gently but firmly into sleep.

_Wait!_

I paused, about to snuff the soul’s consciousness. He wasn’t struggling any more, taut with alarm in the grasp of my power but still.

_I don’t want you to put me to sleep._

I regarded him for a moment. _Then you must cease these struggles. You will not overcome me, but you risk damaging your soul. If you resume them, or cause too much of a distraction, I_ will _do what I must for both of our sakes._

He trembled, fury and despair flavoring the space around him. _I… I will not struggle. Just let me stay conscious._

_Very well._

  
  


**Thancred**

To my surprise, the Ascian paused. Swallowing my fear, I went on.

_I don’t want you to put me to sleep._

He seemed to consider me. _Then you must cease these struggles. You will not overcome me, but you risk damaging your soul. If you resume them, or cause too much of a distraction, I_ will _do what I must for both of our sakes._

I clenched down hard on my rage. Being forced unconscious would gain me nothing, and I already knew it wasn’t something I could fight. _He_ wasn’t something I could fight. _I… I will not struggle. Just let me stay conscious._

_Very well._

I watched through shared eyes as the rest of our group assembled. Gods, I _ached_ to call out to them, to warn them, to try and twitch a finger in the hopes that someone would notice and begin to realize something was wrong. But I could feel him watching me closely. If I wanted to learn anything at all about these shadowy creatures I had to hold myself back. My heart twisted in misery as the adventurer finally arrived and the planning began.

  
  


**Lahabrea**

I released the power, watching him closely for any sign that he would begin again. He did not. Still concerned, I maintained vigilance as Papalymo and Yda entered the solar, followed shortly by the crystal bearer. I made sure not to let my smile waver at the arrival of hated Hydaelyn's champion, much as it wanted to transform to a snarl. The deluded fool to end all deluded fools. How could these twisted remnants not see the peril they put the star in with their careless, ignorant actions?

It was child’s play to split my attention between my planning, keeping an eye on my vessel’s soul, and following along with the conversation around me. As plans were solidified to send the champion to see to Titan, I spoke up.

“We can’t very sell send our friend to Limsa Lominsa without Y’shtola, can we, Minfilia?”

It was quickly agreed, and the meeting soon broke up. I excused myself on the pretext of following up on some promising leads in Ul'dah. Freed of further expectations for the day, I went about my business, quickly making an appearance to the expected contact to establish a trail and alibi before performing more shadowy errands. Thancred, clearly still terrified I would force him into unconsciousness, said little, merely watching everything we did warily. As the day waned, though, he became more vocal—clearly growing braver as I did no more than express annoyance at his commentary.

  
  


**Thancred**

“We can’t very well send our friend to Limsa Lominsa without Y’shtola, can we, Minfilia?” To hear my voice, the words I would have chosen come from my mouth yet not originate with me was an absurd strangeness, one I thought I might never grow accustomed to. I wondered what goal this would serve; from what little I knew, the Ascians _encouraged_ the beast tribes to summon their gods. What would it benefit them to direct the Echo-blessed adventurer to end Titan?

The meeting drew to a close, the Ascian departing for Ul’dah to speak with one of my old contacts. That errand finished, he found a deserted alleyway with no witnesses. I gasped as we teleported; the sensation was nothing like using an aetheryte—icy blackness swallowed us, and I would have said we were trapped in the void except that we somehow dropped through and landed in reality once more. I watched, eventually emboldened to ask a few questions, as he parlayed with kobolds, spied on merchants, and took aetherial readings at numerous, seemingly random locations. A few times he answered my questions or comments in an irritated fashion, but for the most part he continued to ignore me. More saliently, though, he did not lose his temper and force me to sleep. I wondered at this as the day began to wane and he wrapped up his errands.

We returned to my quarters, and the Ascian began readying us to go to bed. I realized that this was the time to try pushing boundaries. Even if he did put me to sleep, it hardly mattered; we would be going to bed soon at any rate, and if he remained consistent with his previous actions, he would not knock me out on the morrow so long as I didn’t struggle again. Course decided, I began peppering him with questions.

 _What is your game, anyway?_ He didn’t respond, continuing to settle in for the night, taking notes of some sort. _What in the hells do you even expect to accomplish? Why do you want the beast tribes to summon primals, anyway?_

I wasn’t sure exactly what I sensed from him; it was like a slowly building storm, pressure and humidity—the terms weren’t really accurate, but it was the best analogy I could find. Abruptly he interrupted me, cutting through my thought.

_Why do you ask questions when you are unwilling to listen to the answers?_

I stopped, at a loss for words. He was right, loath though I was to admit it. And I recognized that, annoyed as he plainly was, he had abided by his promise not to force me to sleep so long as I did not fight him. For a while I watched idly as he finished washing my face, stripped down, and slid into bed. I considered resuming my questioning, but I wasn’t sure I could genuinely listen to any answers he might give, and after being shamed silent I was hesitant to start again. After all, what if he _did_ give me answers?

  
  


**Lahabrea**

Perhaps realizing that we would be going to sleep soon at any rate, he turned downright hostile as we returned to his room and began to settle in for the evening.

 _What is your game, anyway?_ I continued to ignore him as he railed against me, though only verbally; he had not returned to the ineffective attempts at attack that had worried me so over the last week. _What in the hells do you even expect to accomplish? Why do you want the beast tribes to summon primals, anyway?_

My patience drew thin at the constant stream of biting questions. _Why do you ask questions when you are unwilling to listen to the answers?_ I finally growled back. This silenced him for a few minutes, to my relief. I took advantage of the lull to finish my ablutions and settle into bed. I sighed in irritation as the cotton sheets slid over my skin. This body needed relief; my skin felt tight, almost itchy. Unsettled. New bodies were always uncomfortable. Often it barely seemed worth the effort to truly settle in. But it had been a week without relief, since I could not bring myself to pleasure the vessel without obtaining some measure of consent, and he had not been willing to cease struggling, let alone communicate, before now. Perhaps…

I relinquished my hold on his flesh, just a little, confining his ability to feel strictly to his groin. He started, making our hips flex.

_What in the hells?_

_Your body needs release. Will you let me help you with this?_

He recoiled; so recently embodied, his soul still imitated the gestures of flesh. _What? No!_

_Then I will give you what privacy I can so you may deal with the situation._

_Ah, I don’t think so. Just… why don't you get out?_

_That is not practical. And it would be extremely damaging to your soul for me to repeatedly take you over._

_Then don't._ He faced off with me, combative.

In response, I moved our hand, laying it on our hip, splaying the fingers to stroke over sensitive skin. He gasped within me, our hips bucking again.

  
  


**Thancred**

A growing odd sensation drew my attention away from my musings. Surprised, I focused, then _gasped_ as I suddenly realized I could feel my dick. The return of sensation after so much deprivation hit me like a landslide, and my hips punched out reflexively.

_What in the hells?_

The Ascian, damn him, seemed completely unruffled. _Your body needs release. Will you let me help you with this?_

I flinched away in horror. _What? No!_

_Then I will give you what privacy I can so you may deal with the situation._

What, he’d look away or something? Embarrassment washed over me. _Ah, I don’t think so. Just… why don’t you get out?_

 _That is not practical._ His calm tone infuriated me. _And it would be extremely damaging to your soul for me to repeatedly take you over._

 _Then don’t,_ I shot back. I didn’t want him here anyway. I expected him to just laugh at me, but he didn’t respond immediately. I realized why as I suddenly became aware of fingertips brushing my hip, caressing their way toward my cock before stopping. I couldn’t hold back a gasp; my hips flexed, trying to press into a touch that wasn’t there yet. It seemed he’d given me enough control that I could move them, and dismay flooded me as I felt my cock tingle, blood rushing to bring me fully erect.

 _Your body requires care and maintenance._ His absolute confidence dug under my skin, maddening me. _In some things I have no choice; we will continue to eat whether you will it or no. Sleep as well is non-negotiable. Sexual matters are a different affair, however, and while said matter will eventually become too pressing to defer, it has not yet reached that point._

I panted; the fingertips lingering over my hip bone were enough to make me ache, craving release. _No?_ My need bled through into my words, but it was so hard to care. _You sure about that?_ He rolled our shared body onto its back, and I groaned at the friction of the sheets against the head of my dick.

 _Let me ease you,_ he murmured. I felt him wrap power around me, not unlike how he had put me to sleep, but this was somehow different. Less overbearing… almost tender. _I can give you control over this hand and let you please yourself how you like best._ The fingertips moved closer, and I gritted as I felt them stop less than an ilm from the base of my cock. I trembled as he wound more closely about me, his murmur growing intense. _Or I can retain control. It will be as though someone else caresses you._

I trembled. There was no way I could jack myself off with him in here. And I didn’t want him touching me like that, not really. But he plainly wasn’t going to leave so I could have privacy, and damn me but I wanted _someone_ to touch me. Had he not once masturbated since taking my body? I felt so tight, so hungry, much more than usual. _I don’t want you involved at all, frankly._

He chuckled, and my heart quailed at his dark amusement. _Now, that’s not_ entirely _true, is it?_

  
  


**Lahabrea**

_Your body requires care and maintenance. In some things I have no choice; we will continue to eat whether you will it or no. Sleep as well is non-negotiable. Sexual matters are a different affair, however, and while said matter will eventually become too pressing to defer, it has not yet reached that point._

_No?_ he groaned. _You sure about that?_

I had relinquished control of a portion of his flesh, but with his soul subsumed in mine as it was, I could yet feel the sensations he did, dimmed but present. He stood fully erect; either my touch or the mere transfer of control to him had brought him there from the partial stiffness that isolation and the caress of soft sheets had begun. I rolled us fully onto our back, and the sheets tented. The friction of cloth against the sensitive head of his dick made him groan within me.

 _Let me ease you,_ I said. Gently, I enfolded his soul in mine, cradling him, bearing him up. _I can give you control over this hand—_ I made our fingertips creep closer to his cock, smoothing down wiry curls _—and let you please yourself how you like best. Or,_ I whispered to his soul, drawing him closer, growing more intent, _I can retain control. It will be as though someone else caresses you._

He reverberated with contradicting emotions, fear and disgust and alarm warring with hunger and curiosity. _I don’t want you involved at all, frankly._

I chuckled. _Now, that’s not_ entirely _true, is it?_ I pushed the blanket down, fixing our eyes on the sight of his erect member. The broad tip was flushed a darker pink than the shaft; the cooler air hit it, making us shiver. _You don’t have to look,_ I crooned. _You can choose not to watch, if you prefer._ I showed him how, but he shook off my power, preferring to see. _I have millennia of experience… millennia of practice. But say the word, and I will transport you._

He shuddered, clutching at my soul. _Are you just going to push me until I give in?_

 _No. I will not force you. Not even like that. But it is a distraction, and I cannot afford it. I will ask that you deal with the primary sensations of need if you will not allow me to take care of you._ I _will not force you… but your body may well do so. So think now on what you might prefer to do._

He lingered in thought; not wanting to put undue pressure on him, I removed our hand to the edge of our hip once more. He tried to draw a shuddering breath; without control over his lungs it did little but inform me of his state.

 _I don’t know if I can do this,_ he finally groaned. Unsure what precisely he was referring to, I waited, inviting further explanation. He turned to me, the eyes of his soul burning into me, seeking. _If I let you do this, if it turns out I can’t stand it, you_ have _to stop._

 _I will,_ I promised him, solemn. _What would you like me to do?_

_Just… get it over quickly._

  
  


**Thancred**

I gasped as he pulled down the blankets, freeing my erection. I shivered as cool air washed over my sensitive, heated flesh; he looked down at it, and I couldn’t help but stare as well.

 _You don’t have to look._ His voice was gentle, coaxing. _You can choose not to watch if you prefer._ He wove power into a blinder, but I pushed it away. I didn’t want to be blinkered, not even for this. _I have millennia of experience… millennia of practice. But say the word, and I will transport you._

My heart tripped a mad pace, and I realized I was clinging to him, to the power that held me. Damn me, but I needed _something._ There was no way I could last more than a few days more without some kind of release. _Are you just going to push me until I give in?_

To my surprise he drew back. _No. I will not force you. Not even like that. But it is a distraction, and I cannot afford it. I will ask that you deal with the primary sensations of need if you will not allow me to take care of you._ I _will not force you… but your body may well do so. So think now on what you might prefer to do._

I tried to think, to focus past my lust. He moved the hand back to my hip, which helped a bit. So: privacy wasn’t an option. Neither did I want to try and take care of this issue with him pretending not to watch. At least if he was helping it wouldn’t feel so horribly embarrassing. And he seemed perfectly willing to help, unconcerned by concerns of propriety or modesty. It made me wonder… he claimed millennia of this body-snatching. I supposed at this point taking care of a body’s sexual needs must be rather routine for him. I drew a deep, shuddering breath; my body didn’t cooperate, but it still felt like it helped.

 _I don’t know if I can do this,_ I confessed. He waited, an expectant air about him. I needed something. Damn me, but I needed him… I needed _this._ I turned my focus on him, trying to read this alien creature inhabiting me. _If I let you do this, if it turns out I can’t stand it, you_ have _to stop._

 _I will,_ he promised. He felt sincere, from what I could tell. _What would you like me to do?_

I sighed, desire and shame colliding, mixing. _Just… get it over quickly._

He gripped the base of my erection, just holding tight for a moment. _That does not sound particularly satisfying. But I will do my best._

I didn’t worry about that; any release would do at this point. He began moving his hand—our hand, sliding upward with torturous slowness. Spectral lips brushed my ear, making me tremble.

_Should you find yourself desiring something more, though, please do ask._

I tensed as his hand squeezed my head, massaging it slowly and leaving me reeling. I thrust up into the hand, needy. _There is oil,_ I gasped. _In the nightstand._ He rolled to the side, finding it and stroking the lubricant over my cock. I began panting as he worked me smoothly, the slick glide making me hiss with pleasure. I moaned as his fingertips danced over the head, teasing me and leaving me pent.

He had told the truth, at least; he clearly had experience, and seemed completely comfortable binding me in throes of pleasure. I writhed, lost in the sensation his skilled strokes awoke. He also continued the spectral touches, making me jerk, gasp, and tremble. Soon I found myself enjoying the odd sensation despite myself. I had never felt such an intimate touch—indeed, how could I have imagined such a thing before? Slowly I found myself surrendering to him, letting him take charge, _needing_ him to command my body.

  
  


**Lahabrea**

I brought our hand to the base of his cock, fisting the rigid length. _That does not sound particularly satisfying. But I will do my best._ His soul still clung to the concept of flesh, trying to hold shape as though he yet inhabited it fully. I could use this. As our hand stroked slowly upward, I curled closer to his soul, forming lips to brush his ear. _Should you find yourself desiring something more, though, please do ask._

He tensed in my embrace. Our hand slid up over the head, and I tightened it to massage the tip. _There is,_ he gasped, pressing up into my touch, _oil. In the nightstand._ His summoned memory showed me where to find it; I released my grip and rolled onto one side, reaching out. It took but a moment to spill some out and slick his flesh; I rolled us again onto our back and returned to my ministrations. Our hand slid smoothly up and down, now; I swirled our fingertips over the tip, smearing precum over and then under the membrane swathing it.

It was clear as he gasped and strained beneath my touch that he was unaccustomed to this level of need; based upon his reactions and the conveniently placed oil I guessed he cared for his urges regularly, perhaps daily. It was a contrast to the self-denial I routinely practiced; I wondered as I continued to stroke him if he would grow comfortable enough with me that I might experience that, too, for a time. How strange that would be. Strange, but perhaps not unpleasant.

I continued to brush touches over his soul, careful to keep the sensations subtle. At first he reacted strongly, starting or tensing, but soon he began sighing into them, succumbing as his pleasure built. He moved now with me, thrusting into my hand with each stroke; I followed his unconscious rhythm. He relaxed into me, beginning to lose himself to bliss, and I began whispering to him, encouragement and praise as I worked him faster, harder. My breathing matched his gasping pants as the pleasure leaked through to me as well. His soul clung to me, grasping blindly, desperately, and I could not help but respond. I let our other hand slide down our abdomen, let him feel the fingers trail over the ridged muscles as they flexed, straining toward release.

  
  


**Thancred**

Hungry, frantic, I thrust into his hand, trembling as he murmured tenderly to me, leaving me quivering at the edge of release. I held on to him with everything in me, lust overwhelming me. I _needed_ this, more than anything I’d needed in my life, and yet he held me expertly at the threshold. Fingers teased slowly down my abdomen, making me buck harder. Desperate, I let myself give in fully. Now he grunted, our entire body contracting as I finally reached a peak. My vision went white from the intensity of the release, and he drove me wilder yet before his own control broke and we slumped in blissed relaxation. I settled back, not even troubled when he retook control over my groin. He set about cleaning up, but, exhausted and fulfilled, I let myself begin to drift away. I couldn’t even bring myself to feel self-conscious through the haze of euphoria blanketing me; I decided that would be a worry for tomorrow. If I even found it troubling upon waking.

  
  


**Lahabrea**

Without warning, he surrendered completely, and my control splintered as the full force of the pleasure I gave him hit me too. I grunted, head lolling back as our shared desire crested, my hand twitching along his—our—length once, twice, as sharp, almost agonizing pleasure transfixed us. Together we shuddered, souls entwined, heat painting our chest and abdomen as his seed jetted out. He fell limp within me, spent and sated, and I stirred myself enough to resume full control of the vessel. I continued to cradle him as I grabbed the shirt I’d discarded on the floor next to the bed, swiping away the ejaculate before curling onto one side. The cessation of the ache that had plagued me for the last few days made me loose and tranquil. He was already partly asleep within me; I curled gently about him once more and let myself drift away.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to chaospearl for the help and encouragement with my formatting woes <3


End file.
